May I Introduce......

Luke James Knutson

Born August 18, 2008

9 pounds, 15 ounces

There is no way to fully praise the Lord for the new little branch on our family tree. He is a blessing in every way. It was a really such a wonderful pleasure to be at Angie and Jeremy's home and help them get back on their feet after Luke's birth. I did my usual cleaning of the kitchen and each day Mark and I took the kids out for a little while to let Angie ease into the new role of "mommy of 4". The goodbyes are always difficult. John asked if Poppy and I could just come and live with them. Kylie did not want to come out of her room and see us off but when we pulled away there she was. A sad little face in her bedroom window waving goodbye.

I did not get much time with Luke. In 7 days I only changed one diaper for heaven's sake! But I did get my moment alone with him as I have with all my grandbabies. Just a moment by their cradle to pray for them and ask the Lord to draw them near. To bring them to an understanding of His sacrifice for their sin and to experience His grace in their lives. I can't wait to see the plan He has for their lives unfold.

Enjoy the pics!

Poppy and Grandma are on their way!

God is so good! Luke James Knutson arrived yesterday morning in just under 3 hours. He is a bundle! 9 pounds, 15 ounces and that is 2 weeks early. We are praising the Lord for Angie's improvement, Luke's safe arrival and Andrea's help with the children. We are heading out today for Virginia. Be assured, or warned, pictures will follow as soon as Grandma and Poppy can get our hands on this little guy!

Thank you all for your prayers on behalf of our family. God has been faithful!

Spiritual Bacterial Infection

As I finish up the summer mentorship of three young moms, I am realizing that God is teaching more than just the three moms. When we seek to teach others, we learn new things ourselves. The hours of study have become a series of questions to ponder about my life. Strange how the Holy Spirit opens our minds and hearts to what we are portraying by the life we live. This has really made me look at my life....again. To consider it from a different perspective.

We first learn to trust the Lord. To have faith in Him. To believe that He can and will forgive our sins as we confess them with a broken and contrite heart. We recognize our sin and repentance comes. A turning away from the things that are contrary to the Word.

Then we begin the sancifiction process. Fortunately for us, this is a life long process. A constant growing. Somewhere along the line as we are leaning more about the Christian life and as we study the Word and being applying it to our lives, we loose sight of how we project the Lord on those around us.

The captivity of thought and speech is one of those things we think will just happen. It is like a bad habit that we ignore as if there is no help, no cure. Or maybe because we don't want to work that hard. Have we forgotten the help of the Holy Spirit? Have we forgotten that we are not walking this narrow path alone?

We must ask for the help of the Holy Spirit every moment of every day. Our sinful heart cannot be trusted to guard the door. The Holy Spirit is the one with the power to keep sinful thoughts from embedding themselves in our lives. He keeps our thoughts from becoming actions. And boy is Satan sly! Like a bacteria growing unnoticed until is causes a problem, he slowing affects our minds and begins to destroy our witness. It is the thought patterns that have embedded themselves in our lives that continue to eat away the progress toward a godly life.

I have spent more time in prayer recently pleading with the Lord to show me where I am allowing Satan to affect my witness. Where is that tiny crack in my armor where the bacteria has begun to grow? I know that there are many, many cracks. Some large and some small and I want Him to show me all of them.

Looking at my life with the magnifying glass of the Word is frightening at times and yet comforting to know that the forgiveness of God is right there. He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins as we repent and confess them to Him. What an incredible thing! Like a healing balm on the blisters of infection, so is his grace on our lives.

Another Opportunity to Praise

We were helping Rebecca move on Tuesday evening when we got a call from Mark's mother. I could tell from the sound of her voice as it resonated from Mark's phone, that something was wrong. Mark hung up the phone and said Dad had been taken to the hospital and apparently had internal bleeding. We quickly told Martha and Danny about the call and headed for Clarksville. My mind immediately went to thoughts of loosing another dad so quickly. Then remembering that we had been down this road before and nearly lost dad sent waves of fear pounding on the door of my heart. I then remembered a conversation Danny and I had just had in the the office. We talked about praising God for every trial in our lives. Not just saying 'thanks for the trial' but really praising Him for the difficulty. I immediately began to pray and thanked the Lord for this opportunity to draw near to Him. The privilege to be a witness in the midst of trouble and show Christ-like love to Mark's parents.

Peace began to flood over me and I felt so at ease. Nothing could happen that God could not handle and therefore, I only needed to trust Him. What we did not know was that our friends who were helping with the move were praying for us.

We arrived at Mom and Dad's and let Mom explain what had happened. Then scooting off to the ER to check on Dad, we wondered what we would find. But God had given Dad a little peace of his own. Dad's pain was still coming in waves but farther apart. We reassured him we would stay with Mom. We waited until they put Dad in a room and then went back to spend the night with Mom. At 1AM we fell into bed.

Long story short: Dad will be fine and we are thanking God for his protection and the gift of more days with Dad. We are still staying with Mom as she can't be left alone for very long.

God is so good! Just when we think we can relax and not trust Him as much as yesterday, He reminds us that trust is for every day. Every opportunity, both good and bad, every moment of every day. Letting go of our lives and learning to let Him have our days. His ways are not our ways. We wanted to be holding our grandson by now, but God had this opportunity in mind for us to love on Mark's parents. I don't know why and I really don't care why. I just feel blessed to be used by Him.

So let our "fields be destroyed and our cattle be gone". We will still have Jesus and He will still have us.

Grace and Praise

When life goes wrong from our perspective, we don't always remember that God has a plan and that in all things we are to give thanks. From my perspective, the way I want things to go, life has not gone well over the last couple of months. When you look at all that has taken place in our lives over the past 11 weeks it is amazing that we are all still sane! Amazing that is from a human perspective. If we look at it from the view point of Heaven's Eyes, it is a picture of grace.

Just to give you the quick run down: May brought Mark's diagnosis of borderline diabetes and hypertension, my gall bladder surgery, adjustment to new Thyroid medication. June - Andrew in the hospital with blood clots in his lung, Angie in the hospital for premature labor, sick with a cold, Dad's death, Angie's bout with gall bladder issues. July - Wedding cake on the 5th, quick trip to Indiana to be with family, fell at the hotel and hurt my arm, Andrea goes to Virginia to help Angie out, Chancellors death, trip to Ohio for his funeral, Mark had kidney stones removed by outpatient surgery, JohnDavid (grandson) spent the night in the hospital, Dad's memorial service - back to Indiana, Angie back for a night in the hospital. Still waiting for Baby Luke to arrive, and we still have a couple days left in July.

How did we get through it all? The grace of God. There is no way we could have gotten through this summer on our own. Many faithful saints have been on their knees on our behalf. God has heard their prayers and answered them. There were several times that I depended on the strength of the Lord and He was faithful to hold me up. When we are weak He is strong. I know I say that often but it is so true. Our strength is limited, His is not. When our strength is gone, He is there to sustain us. Always. We do our best to endure the trials on our own and when we finally realize we have nothing left with which to persevere, we humble ourselves and ask for His help. Just three words, Help me, Lord.

2 Corinthians 12:9,10 - And He has said unto me. "My grace is sufficient for you for power is perfected in weakness." Most gladly, therefore I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ's sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.

I am sure it sounds strange to say but I am thankful for this time of trial and distress. It draws me closer to Him. Is there any thing better than to be drawn to the God who loves you? Makes me remember that it is His power and grace that sustains me. Praising the Lord and truly being thankful for the trials keeps things in perspective. Our eyes focus on God and His strength, Christ and His suffering on our behalf instead of our own pain. It reminds us how blessed we really are. In an effort to bring a smile to my face a friend said to me, "Look on the bright side, you are not covered in boils that you have to scrape with a rock." And oh, how true that is. Even if everything was gone. All our loved ones were gone and we had absolutely nothing, we still have Christ! How wonderful!

Psalm 13:5,6 - But I have trusted in Your lovingkindness; My heart shall rejoice in Your salvation. I will sing to the Lord because He has dealt bountifully with me.

God is the strength of my heart....forever

If I wrote the script for a soap opera and described all the things that have taken place in our family over the last couple of months, the network executives would think it was too unbelievable to put on television. It might actually make a good reality show. But it is true life for us right now. God knows all that has taken place and He will sustain us. His mighty arms of comfort and power have held us up for many weeks now and it is wonderful to know that His arms do not tire. He is as strong today as He will be 25 years from now.

Mark and I had a wonderful time of rest and relaxation during our trip to Indiana. I got a great deal of physical and emotional rest. As we drove home it felt quite odd. I almost felt guilty for having such peace about my father's death. The Lord's comfort was amazing. Mark did a fabulous job of allowing me time to recoup and his tenderness toward me was such a blessing. I felt so loved. He even bought me new clothes, something he enjoys doing. I am thankful for my husband. He is far more tender hearted than he wants anyone to know.

Angie was in the hospital twice this past weekend with premature labor. Making a long story short, she is doing well. Still contracting but pretty mild now. Andrea flew out the Virginia to stay with Angie and Jeremy until the baby comes. They are both exhausted and in need of help with the kids and the house. Mark and I have tried to get Andrea to get a full time job, but this is one of those times where working part time has made her available to serve our family and our church family. God knew people would need her. The doctors think the baby will arrive in the next couple of weeks. Angie is only 34 weeks along. The baby looks good and we are praying for a safe delivery.

Just a few days after returning home, a lady from our church brought me a planter from our Home Fellowship Group. We had a great chat as she expressed love and concern for my family. As we stood by the door saying our goodbyes the phone began to ring. Mark answered and I told Pam thank you and closed the door. Mark came around the corner and said "You need to call your Mom". I know something was up.

My oldest sister had been in Guatemala and upon her return on Monday was told that her grandson had drowned in the flood water of Ohio. Chancelor we just 12 years old. He fell into a drain and was swept away. He body was recovered later in a field down the road. My heart just sank. Many things ran through my mind. But foremost, was the question what is God trying to teach us through this time of many trials? What is it Lord, that we are not learning?

As I made phone calls to my other sisters to find out the details God once again brought that peace that passes all understanding. We may never know why all these things are happening to our family but I do know that God is faithful. He loves us and cares for us and He knows exactly what is happening. Our job is to trust in Him. To rest in the reassurance that nothing happens to us without first going through His hands. To bring glory to His name.

I am flying to Ohio on Thursday (thanks to some very generous friends)for the funeral and to see my sisters and my nephew. I don't know what I will say but I am praying that God will use me to convey His love for my extented family. I pray that they will see only Christ through me. I pray God will be glorified with my behavior.

Please pray for Avis (my sister) Jamie (Chancelor's father)and for the rest of their family. They need to experience the Lord's comfort and His sustaining power.

Psalm 73:21-26,28
Thus my heart was grieved, and I was vexed in my mind. I was so foolish and ignorant; like a beast before You. Nevertheless I am continually with You; You hold me by my right hand. You will guide me with your counsel and afterward receive me to glory. Whom have I in heaven but You? and there is none upon earth that I desire besides You. My flesh and heart fail; but God is the strength of my heart and my portion for ever. but is is good for me to draw near to God; I have put my trust in the Lord God, That I may declare all your works.

Walking in His Sufficiency

Yesterday was a difficult day as emotions were running high in my family. The staff has graciously given me some time off for which I am so very thankful. It is really hard for me to stay out of the office. Serving the Lord by serving His people is my hearts passion. My church family is my family. We rejoice together and cry together. We care for one another in a way that is indiscribable. To be away from them is a struggle for me.

I told someone on Monday that I know how to help someone through greif but I don't know how to do it when it is me. It has been a long time since I greived the loss of a loved one. It feels frustrating and lonely at times. My friend Doug said it best in his blog (I will paraphrase) "The people in our lives fill a specific space. When they are gone we suddenly feel the vacancy of the space they occupied." Dad had a specific space in my life and the lives of my children. Now the space is empty and barren. A space that can only be filled by the love and comfort of God.

It feels awkward to be walking in this place of greif. Awkward for me to be the 'comfortee' instead of the 'comforter'. But as I read yesterday during my devotion time, the refreshing river of God's grace flows full and free. Both in summer and winter. Good times and bad. His grace is sufficient in all things at all times. I pray I walk in His grace. Not in my strength but in His. I pray my witness of His sufficiency in my life is clear and evident to my lost family. I pray they see not only my greif but the comfort of my Lord.